A few posts ago, I brought to you the art of “ghosting” and it’s entrance into the English language. I’m here to tell you that scientific research ( a.k.a Cosmo + my own life experiences ) has shown that ghosting is so last week. There’s a new sheriff in town, and trust me, it’ll have you begging to be ghosted in a heartbeat.
Bare with me- it truly is dumber than it sounds. Though it has yet to officially make its way into our ever-so intelligible English dictionary, breadcrumbing has made its way into an even better one- the “Urban” one. ( Laugh all you want, but Urban Dictionary is a life saver. I kid you not, I once used it to translate every other text from this guy I used to talk to in high school. His “english” made that “Cash Me Outside” chick sound like Jane fucking Austen).
So, without further adieu,
1. The act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages (ie “breadcrumbs”) to members of the opposite sex in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort.
Kelly started breadcrumbing early in the evening in the hopes that one of guys she’d been working might show up for a late-night booty call.
2. Also known as “Hansel and Gretelling”
When a guy or girl gives someone just enough attention to keep their hope of a relationship alive.
“He keeps texting me but doesn’t want to set up a time to see me.”
“Yo girl he’s bread crumbing you”
You know, I try so hard to defend my generation left, right and centre. But then we pull shit like this and I’m left speechless. I wish Urban Dictionary was making this up, but I’m living proof that this happens more often than you would think.
Those random “hey wyd” messages at 3 in the morning from a guy you haven’t seen in months ? Breadcrumbs.
Those periodic likes on your 50 week old Instagram pictures that he purposely didn’t like before so he could be prepared for times like this ? Breadcrumbs.
Those 3 week later ” sorry for the late reply I was busy but I ain’t now” texts? Breadcrumbs.
Those “let’s hang” messages that just lead to empty promises ? Breadcrumbs.
Carbs. Carbs. And more fucking carbs.(Guess we just found the real cause of the obesity epidemic).
The sad part is that I think we can all be found guilty of this sadistic form of emotional turmoil at one point or another. Leading people on is no new concept. I’m sure people have been doing it since the beginning of time.But, why ?
1) We’re narcissistic assholes. We want people to want us. It feeds our already inflated egos. I once had a friend who admittedly breadcrumbed guys on Tinder because her therapist told her to find ways to boost her confidence and this was the best she could think of. Desperate times call for desperate measures, right ?
2 ) We want to keep our options open. We leave these open ended trails of “possibilities” and “what ifs” so that when one road hits a dead end (a.k.a gets into a committed relationship or rejects you) , another 3 are there to take its place.
3) Settle down ? Ha. We can’t do that anymore. We don’t know what “commitment” is. Hell, we can’t even commit to sending the same person memes for a week straight without getting cold feet.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there’s that 1% chance that someone is breadcrumbing you out of good faith. They could be scared to come across as too desperate. They may be afraid to show too much interest in fear of getting rejected. They may be holding themselves back because they’ve been hurt before.
Whatever the reason, this shit needs to end. People aren’t pigeons that you feed when you’re lonely and have nothing better to do. Nor are we solely worth someone who can’t be bothered to show that they care about us every day. If you have no intention of furthering your relationship with someone, have the decency to let them know. Leading people on is yet another way for us to dodge making decisions and “have it all”. Keep it up , however , and you may be left with nothing at all. Spring time is around the corner and us pigeons say it’s about time for a no-carb diet.
Any experiences with breadcrumbing of your own? Let me know in the comments. ‘Till next time 😁