Why My Idea Of Love Is Slowly Dying 

​If you read my post on how I’m the biggest hopeless romantic on the planet, you’ll know that I’ve always dreamt of my “happily ever after”. I’ve believed in love, the kind that is unconditional and can be found in every Nicholas Sparks’ book , my entire life. But recently, my faith has been wavering.

I find it kind of funny that I ever had a positive outlook towards love, considering how shit the relationships around me have been. Take my parents for example. Sure, they can be the cutest of lovebirds when they want to be, to the point where more often than not I feel third-wheeled in my own fucking house. They still hold hands in the mall periodically. They still laugh uncontrollably at their inside jokes without a care in the world. But, these moments are fleeting. And sure, every relationship has it’s ups and it’s downs. Yet, even my parents would admit that they probably should have left each other years ago. So it’s safe to say that I grew up with a skewed notion of what love truly is and because of it, found myself wanting better. As sad as it may sound, I took my parent’s relationship as a model of everything I didn’t want for myself.

Nevertheless, I never gave up on finding true love. I wasn’t going to let one bad relationship crush my hopes and dreams altogether. What I soon realized, however, is that it wasn’t just ONE bad relationship. It was the majority of them. One by one, all the relationships that I have spent my whole thinking were perfect, have come crumbling down. Cheating. Lying. Abuse. Those are just a few of the swords I’ve been exposed to. And then, you have those couples who aren’t plagued by any of such demons at all, yet still seem to fall out of love and go their separate ways. Maybe they simply grew apart. Maybe they aren’t happy. Maybe they just don’t love each other like they used to. Hell, maybe they never even did.

Which got me thinking: What’s the point in believing in love anyways?

I mean, let’s face it. In many places around the world, divorce can be predicted by the flip of a fucking coin. In some places, the odds are even worse! Even Nicholas Sparks got a divorce ( I guess The Notebook was just fiction after all)! Not to mention, you have couples who remain in relationships or marriages that they probably should not be in, whether due to fear, comfort, children…the list goes on and on. Love doesn’t seem to be doing so well for many, so why should I bother thinking it will be good to me ?

One of my friends and I were talking about this the other day and we thought, wouldn’t it be great if we there was some sort of scientific test we could take to see whether our relationships would last, or whether the love was truly there or not? I mean, we have tests that determine pretty much every other aspect of our lives. Want to know if you`re “smart”? Take a test. Want to know if you’re able to be that lawyer you’ve always dreamt of becoming? Take a test. Want to know if what you did two weeks ago was a reaaally bad idea? Take a test. And yet, there’s no multiple choice questionnaire to let me know if my hypothetical relationship will last or not. How ludicrous.

Seeing as though we don’t live in a perfect world, love is a risk, not a guarantee. But you know what, I think that’s what makes it so great. It’s true when they say that good things don’t come easy. They take effort, patience, courage and a whole lot of faith in yourself. Any time you jump into a new relationship, or say ” I do”, there’s ALWAYS  a chance that it will not last. Situations change. People change. So, I think what it comes down to is deciding who is and isn’t worth taking that risk for. How do you know who’s worth it? Well shit, I don’t have all the answers. I don’t even think its humanly possible for any of us to know. The only thing we can do is go with our gut, follow our heart and roll the dice. If things end well, then kudos to you. But if they don’t, I’m sure you’ll be able to pick yourself up once again.

I refuse to believe that true, unconditional love doesn’t exist, nor am I okay with settling for anything but. Does that make me a hopeless psycho? Yes. Will I end up heartbroken, alone and with three divorces under my belt? Most likely. But what’s the alternative? Never giving myself a chance to find love and having low expectations? No thanks. I think I’ll run with my shitty odds.

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13 thoughts on “Why My Idea Of Love Is Slowly Dying 

  1. “(When it comes to love)…I’ll run with my shitty odds” seemed hopeful to me than not ☺
    Love is all about choices, in fact, daily ones. Some have deeper and more cautious take about it because of past experiences, others more carefree. Yet, that’s the beauty of it – it’s mysteriosness. Just like the air we breathe, love remains a very vital part of human survival. I meant Love in its purest sense, not just romantic.
    When it comes to romantic love, it’s always upon any one of us to choose which way or views to take. And the choice we make isn’t subject to anybody’s approval ☺
    Your post holds much truth!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love how you courageously talk about the “thing” most people are crazy about ☺ I’ve written about how love shows different faces to different people — depending on how they opted to view it 😊 This post somehow resonates that thought.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. To me , the things that are most important in life , like love, are the one’s we need to have these harsh conversations about. It’s complicating, messy even. And I agree! My views on love change day in and day out. Sometimes I swoon over love stories and others I’m the most bitter person ever (recently the second one’s been winning haha)

      Like

  3. As Sting said “we are spirits in the material world” and it is of human construct. I could go on and on about this as nauseam, and my feelings have changed about soul mates and all that. Problem is we are spirits on the one hand and mammals on the other. I believe we should love however we when for as long as we want, and when it no longer is viable simply love another. I know what you are thinking and that’s not what I mean. I mean we are putting spiritual contraints on our innate tendencies. I’ll be disliked for this position, but women are protectors and men are hunters gatherers. No one would love to believe the concept of “The one” more thAn me, just read my pietry, but I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that we just aren’t wired that way. You’re lucky I’m on my phone and not my cpu! I’d go on lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I understand where you’re coming from. I find myself torn with this topic as well. Does love exist ? Ya. But does it last ? I used to think so, but recent events have made me question it. Something tells me you’ll have a field day with today’s post lol

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is actually a great thoughts. I find it amazing that you are still hopeful and look at things in a positive manner.

    You reminded of a friend of mine. She called herself hopeless romantic and keep ending up with unrequited love, hopeless crush and stupid relationship. Still, she love the idea of love and such.

    As for me, love is not a set of completed goods. It is not a premium item that as long as we have the money, we can buy it. It is more like you are building a house from nothing. You get the land, the tools and the materials. Then, you build it, you filled it with furniture and needs. Then, you live there together as your family gets bigger. When the house broken, you fixed it. When you think you need to replace something in the house, you replaced it with new ones.

    This is just my thoughts, I’m sure everyone has their opinion. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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