If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.”
I’m sure you’ve heard some variation of this quote at one point or another. It stems from this idea that “things that are meant to be, will be”. This is something I’ve believed in my entire life. So then , what about this quote exactly, makes me want to fucking vomit every time I hear it ?
Things happen for a reason. At least, I’m pretty sure they do. You may not realize it now , but one day while looking back on your life, you’ll understand why things transpired the way they did. When people interpret this , however, the words “fate” or “destiny” often pop up. The idea that the events in our lives are out of our control, and whatever is “meant to be” will happen to us regardless of the choices we make or actions we take.
See , I think in theory fate sounds amazing- especially for lazy ass people like me. You’re put on this planet for who knows what reason, and you’re not even expected to actively participate! You literally just have to show up. That’s it. Fate is going to take care of the rest. Things , that are out of your control, are going to happen regardless. You’re a spectator to your own life.
And sure, while the couch potato in me thinks that sounds like utopia, I can’t help but cringe at the very thought. I think people cling onto fate or destiny, to relieve them of the burden of making choices and most importantly, taking responsibility of said choices. Being the most indecisive person I know , I can vouch for how much I despise making decisions just as much as the next person. But , the reason I hate it so much , is that I know that what I choose will have consequences- it will have an impact on my future. The program I choose to study in will shape what job opportunities I will have in the future. The people I choose to surround myself with will in turn shape who I am as a person.Whether I decide to eat tacos for lunch or not will shape how much of my night will be spent on the toilet. You get the point.
The reality is, you have the ability to control , at least some aspects of, your life. Can you stop bad things from happening , or will good things to happen all the time? No. But , you can control how you react to situations and how you choose to respond through the actions and choices you deliberately make.
So, when it comes to love , I think it is no different. Do you really want to let “fate” decide who you’re going to end up with for the rest of your lives? Are you simply going to let the person that you’re in love with go just to “see” if you and them were “meant to be”? Sure, letting go is sometimes necessary. If you happen to be in love with someone who doesn’t exactly feel the same way , then letting go is your only option. I mean , sure I may be in love with Adam Levine, but if I somehow managed to see him and refused to let him go, I’d probably end up in jail with that mentality.
Nonetheless, love is the last thing that I want to be left in someone else’s hands. Sure, I think certain people may be brought into your life because of fate, but what you choose to do from that point on is up to you. The way I see it, if something or someone is important to you, you fight for it. You don’t just let them get away because you think that the universe will decide everything for you. The universe probably doesn’t give a shit about you. But you know who does? That person that you love that you just let slip away through your fingertips because you were too afraid to make the decisions that matter most.
Be your own source of fate. Create your own destiny. You have more power and control over your life than you think.