Ghosting + Why We Do It

Have you ever been in what you thought was a relationship with a person who one day decides, “hey, I think I’m just going to never message/communicate/answer you again even though we’ve been talking (and probably more) for the past 2 years”? Or how about when things were going so great with someone you’d just met, and instead of taking things to the next step, you realize that they’ve managed to “lose your number”? Of course- you think there’s some reasonable explanation to all of this. They’re probably just busy.   They’ll get back to you as soon as they have the time. Days go by and you’re starting to wonder if they’re okay. So, repeatedly,  you text, call, e-mail, send a messenger bird- anything that will make you seem like the clingy, annoying POS that you probably are (just kidding). Weeks go by and you’re starting to get the idea. They must have gone out of the country for a family or business matter and forgot to tell you. So , you spam your text conversation with a shit lot of green or blue bubbles. Hell, maybe you even wish them a safe flight home!

The truth of the matter is they’re not “busy” or in Costa Rica- they’re where they’ve always been, not giving a single fuck. You, my friend, have been ghosted.

If you’re not familiar with the term, or think I’m merely making it up-I’m not, and I have proof. The word ghosting has officially made its way into the English dictionary. Yup, society has hit rock fucking bottom.

ghost·ing

ˈɡōstiNG/

noun

  1. 1.

    the appearance of a ghost or secondary image on a television or other display screen.

  2. 2.

    the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.

     

    “I thought ghosting was a horrible dating habit reserved for casual flings”

Have I ever mentioned how proud I am to be a part of this generation? I mean, seriously, it’s so cool that we’ve become such passive aggressive people who don’t have the decency to be honest or upfront anymore. People who find enjoyment in leading people on for no reason , without ever considering the other person’s feelings for a second.

I speak with myself included. I’ve had my fair share of messages that I’ve ignored or people who I’ve deliberately stopped talking to. Sometimes it’s been intentional, sometimes not so much. Which got me thinking, why do we “ghost”? When the going gets tough-we often go, as fact as we can-at least I do. I hate facing my problems. I hate confrontation. I hate explaining myself. Sometimes, it’s just easier to ignore everything altogether- to escape.

It’s complicating because I see both sides to the story. On one hand , ghosting is a pretty shitty thing to do. Whether it be a romantic relationship, fling, or even a friendship- people often deserve at least an explanation as to why you’re cutting the cord with them. But, sometimes people don’t. You may be ending all communication with someone who has done you wrong. Do you really owe someone who just told you they don’t like cats an explanation? Shouldn’t they clearly understand why you can no longer associate yourself with them ?

You have a right to not want to talk to someone anymore. At the end of the day, your life is your own. Sometimes we just simply don’t enjoy another person’s company anymore. Sometimes, we’re too afraid to confront the situation with a sense of honesty and communication it needs. And sometimes, we’re just assholes. Point being, your reasoning behind ending whatever relationship it may be is up to. In your eyes , it’s valid.

However, I also think you have a responsibility to be as humanly decent as you possibly can- both to the ghostee and to yourself. Be honest- that’s all you need. A simple , “listen, I think it’s best if we go our separate ways” will save the other person from stalking your social media 24/7 to see if you’ve posted any pictures from Costa Rica yet, while also saving you from having to see their messages pop up every day.

* Thanks for the read! Comment below if you have any ghosting stories or confessions of your own. Also, for those of you who regularly check my blog ( thanks by the way 😊), you probably noticed I haven’t kept on track with my post per day I was hoping for. Life has been so busy this week, but I promise I will post more than once some days to make up for it*

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13 thoughts on “Ghosting + Why We Do It

  1. There’s this person that I guess I ghost every now and then. Mainly though because no matter what I may be going through, she keeps going on about her ALL the time and it can be draining trying to be around someone like that all the time. One time I posted if people could help me find my dog and she keep bugging me because she had a tummy ache. After that I started avoiding her.

    Liked by 1 person

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