It’s pretty strange that we keep running into each other.
Maybe it means something.
I doubt it.
Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Disclaimer: This post will contain spoilers about the movie La La Land, so if you haven’t watched it I suggest you stop what you’re doing and go do so ASAP. Then, when you’re done, come back here and read this of course 😋
I watched La La Land about a week ago and ever since, I’ve been dying to write this post. Going into it, I really did not have high expectations. It’s quite different than the usual shit I watch- most notably, because it doesn’t have a superhero or a bunch of explosions in it. 5 minutes in and I began cursing my dad for making me go watch this “stupid” thing ( yes- I watched the movie with my dad and not some gorgeous boy toy, super pathetic I know 😭). Had it not been for the ending, the movie would be pretty archetypally boring if you ask me. But, what I learned from it is something that I seriously will take with me for the rest of my life.
If you read my last post , you’ll know that I’ve been a hopeless romantic at heart my entire life. So , it’s no surprise that I have most definitely believed in the idea of soulmates all my life. Just the thought that I will end up with someone out there who is made for me sends shivers down my spine. I love it. I love everything it stands for. But is it realistic ?
Agree to disagree, but I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I think the struggles we go through on a daily basis serve a much larger purpose. I think the decisions we make, shape how our lives are meant to turn out. And most importantly, I don’t think that anybody that comes into your life does so as mere coincidence. Every person who’s been an important part of your life at one point or another, was there for a reason. I think that every person and the situations in which they bring unto our lives have something very important to teach us , if we take the time to listen. Maybe they showed you a different way of life. Maybe they exposed you to a different culture. Maybe they made you see things from a different perspective. Or maybe they were just assholes who taught you exactly the kind of people you DON’T want in your life.
The funny thing is, we can try as much as we want to control our lives, or the people that come into it, but there’s always going to be some aspect that’s out of our grasp. There’s always going to be those one or two people who come into your life unexpectedly. Call it fate or destiny or even coincidence if that makes you feel better , but there’s no denying that we all will encounter at least one person in our lifetime who seems to turn our worlds upside down , whether it be for better or worse. You may not know it right away, but this person will have the most important truths to teach you. They will challenge your very being- make you reconsider everything you think you had known up until that point. They will inspire you to be the person you are meant to be – to reach your fullest potential. They will be a glimpse into a future you never thought possible.
Which brings me back to my question : Is having a soulmate realistic ?
Does such a thing even exist ?
Well- I think it depends by and large on how exactly you define soulmate. The common perception is that your soulmate is your one true love. The person that the universe is drawing you towards. The one whom you were always meant to end up with. But I don’t think this necessarily has to be the case.
I think your true soulmate is the person I described earlier- the unforeseen individual who comes into your life to show you, not what they can contribute to your life, but what YOU have had the ability to contribute to yourself all along. They’re the wake up call we all need. And what I learned from La La Land , is that your soulmate does not have to stay.
There’s no doubt that Mia and Sebastian were each other’s soulmates. They inspired each other to go after their dreams and passions. They were the exact push that they both needed to wake up from the mundane lives they had been living. They didn’t complete one another – they motivated each other to complete themselves. But , spoiler alert , they didn’t end up together. And I think that’s the most powerful message I’ve gotten from a movie in a really long time.
Once the credits rolled out, my dad turned to me and told me that that was the worst movie he’d ever seen. I laughed because a) why was he complaining when he was the one who wanted to watch it in the first fucking place ? b) this was coming from a guy who also watched the new Mad Max movie , so I know his statement wasn’t true ( am I the only one that absolutely hated that movie ?!) , and c) I felt the complete opposite. He argued that it was just another sappy love story, but I couldn’t disagree more.
La La Land challenges the archetypal love story by showing that your soulmate is not always the person you end up with. Some may argue that none of them got their “happily ever after” but I argue that they got that and so much more. They didn’t need to end up together. The purpose of their time together wasn’t to promise a lifetime of commitment with one another; it was to promise a lifetime of commitment with themselves.
So do I think your soulmate exists ? Hell yeah. But do I think it’s realistic to think that you’ll end up with them ? Not at all, because I don’t think that was ever the point of their existence.