“Fight for the fairy tale, it does exist”-you already know
FYI : If you’re familiar with my blog, you’ll realize that this is the second post I’ve done that has the word hopeless in it, which gives you a pretty good idea of how AMAZING my life has played out.
For as long as I could remember, I have been in love with the idea of love. I grew up wanting, but more importantly, knowing that I was going to have the perfect fairy tale life. I was going to be a fucking princess. And I was going to find my prince charming.
I put my dreams into action from a very young age. In all honesty, I think I put more effort into this than anything else in my life. I lived out my dreams vicariously through my Halloween costumes, in which I would always beg my parents into buying me one of those expensive princess dresses from the Disney store. I didn’t con them out of their money every year, but in the mix of being a homemade “cat” or “angel”- I got to be Cinderella one time, and Belle another ( side note: my favourite princess has always been Jasmine from Aladdin, but there was no way my fat ass was ever going to fit into that skimpy two piece costume). As I got older, I became obsessed with love songs, romance novels, and don’t even get me started on how many days I wasted watching Say Yes to the Dress marathons. I’ve had my wedding planned out for years-the dress, the song, the fucking flavor of the cake- basically everything except the groom.* And cue the hopelessness*.
I guess it’s safe to say that my life hasn’t quite played out as little old me thought it would. Seriously, my 5 year old self would be bawling right about now- hell, even my 20 year old self gets a little teary eyed over this every once in awhile. But, like my best friend always tells me, finding “the one” isn’t the be all and end all of life. I used to think it was. I used to think that I would be a complete failure if I ended up alone. If it wasn’t for her, I would probably still think the exact same way. She’s found a way to balance out my romantic and idealist ways with a sense of realism that I think we all need.
We live in a society that force feeds “love” down our throats. Every little girl is brought up with this skewed picture in their heads- that life is supposed to be a “fairy tale” or better yet, that your happiness has to depend on some “prince charming” whose going to swoop in and save you. Every teenage girl is made to be the victim of consumer-based advertising, that convinces them that beauty is of top priority- that looking “attractive” for a guy should be of prime importance. This kind of “romanticism” is utter bullshit , for lack of a better word. Every person has the ability to be the source of their OWN happiness. You don’t have to “look good” for anyone but yourself. And you most definitely don’t need someone else to rescue you.
With that being said, I still consider myself to be a hopeless romantic, just not in the way that my younger self did. I’m still in love with love. I’m still going to listen to a bunch of acoustic love songs in the shower, while I make up cute scenarios ( that will most likely never come true) in my head. But that’s just who I am. And it’s not something I want to change, either. I still believe that love is what makes the world go round. I’ve just realized that you don’t need to find this love only in some “prince charming”. You can find it in yourself. In your family or friends. In your pets. In the things that make you smile everyday. In the things or people that make you want to be a better person.
So , I guess you can say I’m still fighting for the “fairy tale”, just not the same one that my 5 year old self fought for. What I’m going to continue fighting for is my self- my own happiness. I’m going to be my own damn hero. And if “prince charming” wants to come along for the ride, that’s great. But if he doesn’t, I think I’ll be okay.