I know I’m probably a bit late for the typical “New Year, New Me” post and I’m pretty sure you’re sick and tired of hearing about the “magical powers” that 2017 can bring into your life, so I’ll skip the cliché banter. I mean let’s face it , does anything really change from year to year? Let’s go back to the last 3 years of my life and see…
2014: Single with no cat
2015: Single with no cat…
2016: Oh ya, still fucking single and still don’t have a cat!
So, ya I see lots of evidence that this year will be any different. With that being said, I get it. A new year is a metaphorical clean slate- a chance for us to pretend like our sins of the past years have mysteriously vanished, as we transform into these less asshole-y versions of ourselves.
But, this post isn’t about how I want to morph into a much skinnier, more organized, less procrastinating and healthier butterfly this year. It’s about accepting the fact that 2017, just like the years that came before it, is going to be filled with highs and lows. That’s the reality of life-a homeostasis if you would. You can’t force good things to happen, just as you can’t avoid bad things from happening. Life is going to happen to you regardless. In the meantime, the best you can do is learn from whatever curveballs life chooses to throw your way.
2016 was a crazy learning experience for me , so I thought I’d share some of the things I hope 2017 can teach me too.
1. How to stop worrying about my health all the time
I’m pretty sure my family and friends are real sick and tired of hearing that I think I have a new “disease” every fucking day, and I’m really tired of having to clear my embarrassing WebMD searches from my browsing history.
2. How to deal with failure
Wanting to cry every time I drive onto the curb, or fuck up big time at work , is getting really annoying. Hopefully , 2017 teaches me that failing is a normal and inevitable part of life- that it only makes you stronger.
3. How to cope with loss
I’ve been blessed so far to have all of my loved ones healthy and alive. Obviously, this isn’t going to be the case forever, so when the time comes , I hope this year will teach me how to move forward.
4. How to spend less time thinking and more time doing
I waste so much of my life away convincing myself out of trying new things, or putting an idea into action, that I’ve become trapped inside my own mind. 2017, please teach me how to break free.
5. How to be honest with the people around me- especially when they won’t like the truth
There’s more sugar coated on the things I tell my family or friends, than there is on most of the things I eat. And no , I don’t eat that healthy. So that says a lot.
6. How to make amends and apologize
I hate having bad blood with other people. But, my stubborn ass also hates being the one to initiate the amend-making process. Maybe 2017 can change that.
7. How to accept my own faults
As much as I hate to admit it, I probably put the blame on others way too easily, without realizing that I , too, have had a part to play. Oops.
8. How to accept that I can’t fix everything
I absolutely despise feeling helpless, but I don’t have all the answers ( as much as I wish I did). I need to learn how to accept that somethings are just simply out of my control.
9. How to live in the moment
I stress about my future way more than I should, and in doing so , stop myself from living every moment to the fullest. Who cares if I’ll end up alone and broke in the future? The important part is that I’m not any of those things now…oh wait. Nevermind.
10. How to stop coming up with “amazing ideas” at 4 o’clock in the morning.
You would think that, by now, I would’ve learned that anything that you think is a great idea at 4am most likely isn’t and will probably result in a shit load of regret. Clearly, this hasn’t gotten hammered through my head enough.
11. How to be more vocal
Don’t get me wrong- the people who know me well would probably say that I talk waaaay too much. But, to people I’ve just met, I think I’m way too passive and quiet.
12. How to stop being so indecisive
Every single Thursday this past year, my friend and I would spend a good hour deciding on what to eat, just to choose the same thing we chose every week. I hate making decisions. Especially about food.( Oh, and I guess about school, my future, my relationships but shhh…)
13. How to be more true to myself
I think we all fall victim to acting different towards others so that we’ll come across as more likeable, at some point or another. But, I want to learn that people who won’t appreciate you for being you, aren’t even deserving of your time.
14. How to stop feeling as if I have to prove myself to others
This kind of stems from the last one, but this year I got way too caught up in trying to advocate for what I can contribute to people’s lives. If people are too narrow minded to see the ways that you can make a difference in their lives, then that’s their problem not yours.
15. How to swallow my pride
I hate asking other people for help, or willingly putting myself in embarrassing situations. But hey, embarrassing situations find me anyways , so what exactly am I worried about?
16. How to stop being petty
My best friend will love this one. After much reflection, I guess I can finally admit that I reacted to certain situations in somewhat “bitter” ways. But hey, I’m only human, cut me some slack.
17. How to give myself a second chance
I’m pretty forgiving when it comes to others and I know that people maybe, possibly, can change their ways. So , why can’t I extend myself that same chance at redemption?
For the sake of us all, let’s hope 2017 will be better than the last !