FYI: Contrary to this somewhat misleading title, this blog post has nothing to do with washroom etiquette ( even though , if you’re one of those people who decide flushing is not mandatory, I ask you kindly to reevaluate your fucking life).
Ever since I was little, standing up for myself was something that terrified me. And let’s be real, it still does. I guess you could say that my mom and I are alike in this sense, we both try so hard to please everyone around us, but in the process allow ourselves to get walked all over. The problem isn’t that people have time and time again attempted to take advantage of us. The problem is that we have LET them do so without uttering a mere syllable of contest. In my short lived life thus far, I’ve somehow managed to tolerate more shit than my toilet does (and for anyone who knows me personally, that says a hell of a lot).
I’d like to think that over the years, saying”enough is enough” is something I’ve gotten a bit better at. I mean, when I was younger, I used to do my “best friend’s” school work every single fucking day for years without telling her where to go. And, in this very moment, I can gladly say that I don’t even do my own school work, let alone someone else’s, so I guess you can say I’ve improved. But I’d be lying if I said I’ve mastered it. I still say sorry when other people bump into me, or even when I bump into FURNITURE accidentally.
But why? Why shut up and take the shit people throw my way? I have a couple theories:
1) Every single time I have stuck up for myself, or at least tried to , its never worked out well-ever. It’s like I try so hard to maintain standards for what I can and cannot tolerate from anyone, yet when I try to uphold those boundaries, I’ve been made to feel like a complete idiot for doing so. Or even yet, I’m made out to be the villain for “overreacting”.
2) Standing up for myself terrifies me, not because I don’t think I have it in me to do it, but because I’m scared that if I do speak up, people will just leave. Better to do my friend’s homework every day then to not have a friend at all right? FUCK NO. If there’s anything I’ve learned this year its that…
LESSON #5: TOLERATING BULLSHIT FROM ANYONE IS A NO-NO. IT’S BETTER TO LOSE THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU WHO CONSISTENTLY HURT YOU, THAN TO LOSE YOURSELF IN THE PROCESS.
I hate letting go, whether it be of people or situations. I’ll be the first to admit that I can’t stand even the thought of change. It’s easier to cling onto a certain person, or environment, but when doing so is exposing you to more harm than good, it’s time to say goodbye. If someone is going to leave just because you decide you won’t put up with their bullshit, then let them leave! You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life and odds are, they weren’t meant to stay in your life in the first place.
So “flush” out the bullshit as much as you can. If someone is doing something that you don’t like, tell them to stop. If they don’t listen to you, then walk away. When it comes to your mental health and well-being, sometimes you have to be selfish.You don’t deserve to be silenced at the expense of another person’s happiness. And sure, this isn’t a skill that you will acquire overnight. Some people are better at it than others. Some, like me, will probably struggle with this for their entire lives. But what I have learned is that the struggle is worth it because the sooner you start sticking up for you, the sooner you can be YOU.