A friend of mine had recently told me about a project she had to complete for a drama class. The task was to perform a monologue that had a strong emotional attachment. She chose to recite one about our infamous little friend- time. Through tear-soaked eyes, she could barely tell me how her monologue had went. I immediately assumed she must not have done well, but what she said next left shivers down my spine. During her performance, the professor had stopped her and asked how this poem had any attachment to her or importance to life in general. Confused, she simply began to retell the main themes , but her professor insisted on more. “What is your relationship with time? “, he asked. And to her dismay, she had no answer. Nor did I.
Up until this year, I had only thought of time as an enemy. As the saying goes , “The trouble is, you think you have time”, and ain’t that the fucking truth. In the most literal of senses, we are utterly in a race against time. It will be the end of each and everyone of us. Because of this, I have had a set timeline in my head of exactly how and when each important milestone in my life should proceed. Meet the love of my life by 16. Graduate with a degree by 21. Get married by 23. Have a steady career by 25. The list goes on and on. The funny part is , this so called “timeline” couldn’t be farther from reality. Currently at 20, I can assure you I have most likely not met the love of my life, will probably not graduate by next year and let’s not even comment on the whole married by 23 fiasco ( ha ! what a joke).
I guess it’s safe to say that I haven’t lived the picturesque vision of what I thought my life was going to look like. I’ve spent every waking day thus far trying to make up for being somewhat “behind”. Behind in my goals. Behind in my accomplishments. Behind in my relationships. You name it and odds are I have nothing to show for it. Honestly, if you do the math , my literal age would probably be closer to 12 based on my life experiences. And I fucking hate it. I hate seeing everyone fly by me with their fancy degrees , or their successful businesses and their long term relationships, while I sit back from afar frozen in a time that I cannot seem to progress out of.
This year, however, has shown me that time doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. It can be your friend just as much as it can be your foe- it’s all dependent on how you allow it to control your thoughts , actions and reactions.
LESSON #1: PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE THAT CAN ONLY BE ACQUIRED ONCE YOU ACCEPT THAT THINGS WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY ARE MEANT TO HAPPEN.
Throughout 2o16, I have tried my best to let go of this animosity I had towards how slowly my life had seemed to be unfolding. To my surprise , the second I stopped ruminating on the negatives was the second that my life had actually started to be LIVED! I finally under stood what my best friend had been trying to tell me all along. I let go of this preexisting notion of when everything was supposed to happen , and just let things happen naturally. I mean don’t get me wrong , married at 23 is still a definite “never going to happen” , but this year above all others has given me invaluable experience that I only hope can be matched or surpassed in 2017.
So to anyone whose thoughts are somewhat similar to little old me, my best advice to is to RELAX. Sure , the clock may be ticking away , but constantly staring at it won’t make things go any slower or faster. The best things in life truly come with time and the sooner you realize that , the sooner you will see that although you may have to endure trillions of seconds waiting, it only takes one to change your life forever.